You might be thinking, these verses are meant for a marriage ceremony! Sure they work fine for that too. But Paul was speaking to the Corinthian church who were manifesting all these negative verbs of love. Being rude and ill-mannered was one of them. Especially with the Lord’s Supper 1 Corinthians 11:17–22.
Look what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 11:21… for in your eating each one takes his own supper first; and one is hungry and another is drunk.
Keeping that in your mind, we start verse 5 in our study in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. Paul says love does not act unbecomingly. We learned in our last study that pride puffs up the heart, so then rude behavior naturally follows.
The reason it’s not rude is that when you love someone you care about their feelings, you want the best for them.
Let’s look at this word Unbecomingly.
Unbecomingly ἀσχημονέω aschēmonéō (as-kay-mon-eh’-o) It means love is not rude, indecent, and ill-mannered. It describes one who acts improperly or with rudeness. It means to behave unmannerly, disgracefully, or dishonorably where ever you are. Whether you are with a believer or with a co-worker or the secular world.
You see Christian love is courteous and gracious, not rude, and ill-mannered. Love does nothing to shame oneself by how you talk and act.
We as Christians walk in a manner worthy of the Gospel. Our identity is in Christ… remembering we are the bible some unbelievers will ever read. Think about that the next time you act in a way that is rude, indecent, and ill-mannered in front of unbelievers.
Only conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or remain absent, I will hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel;Philippians 1:27
You might be thinking, “Well look. That’s just the way I am. I’m a straight-shooter. I just tell it the way I see it.” I fall into that trap and it’s wrong.
Paul would tell the Thessalonians in 2 Thessalonians 3:7… For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example, because we did not act in an undisciplined manner among you,
Love thinks about what you say to others, how you come across. Love thinks about gracious words that build people up.
Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.Ephesians 4:29 [Emphasis Mine]
Paul would go on to say …
Be kind to one another,
tender-hearted, forgiving each other,
just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.